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New Ways For Families - Overview For Professionals
New Ways for Families teaches three basic relationship and conflict resolution skills before the big decisions are made. These skills are: flexible thinking, managed emotions and moderate behaviors. These skills are essential to all successful relationships and to resolving conflicts. Therefore, we teach these skills in one-to-one counseling (or coaching) relationships for 6 (or 3) sessions with simple writing assignments and practice exercises to strengthen them. Further, all professionals involved with a family reinforce these three skills in their work together and in helping the family make each decision along the way of their separation and divorce. Our motto is: Skills before decisions!
This method is specifically designed to address domestic violence issues and alienation issues as a “gateway” to further treatment. The goal is to reduce court appearances and reduce family conflict.
STEP 1: STRUCTURE: Either a court order or a signed Agreement to use the New Ways method.
STEP 2: INDIVIDUAL PARENT COUNSELING (or COACHING): 6 (or 3) sessions with a workbook.
STEP 3: PARENT-CHILD COUNSELING: 3 sessions with each parent, the child/ren and workbook.
STEP 4: FAMILY (or COURT) DECISION-MAKING: Professional(s) assist parents or judge decides.
COURT-BASED METHOD:
1 Judge: Provides structure and motivation by making New Ways order with clear expectations; can make temporary restraining, parenting and support orders.
If parties don’t settle case after New Ways, then judge quizzes parties on what they learned and how they would handle a future parenting conflict, before hearing evidence. Judge may hear Parent-Child Counselor’s observations – not expert opinions or recommendations. Judge may order evaluation, treatment, etc.
2 Lawyers: Parents are encouraged to have lawyers. Lawyers explain New Ways process to clients, motivate them to use it, and assist with paperwork (Behavioral Declarations, Coordination Letter, etc.). After New Ways Counseling (Steps 2 and 3), lawyers assist clients in settling case or appearing in court (Step 4).
3 Counselors: Each parent selects own Individual Parent Counselor from New Ways-trained list. This counselor is confidential and not allowed to communicate with any other person in the case. This counselor focuses on teaching, practicing and reinforcing the three skills above using the Parent Workbook. The Parent-Child Counselor meets with each parent and the children using the Parent Workbook.
OUT-OF-COURT-BASED METHODS:
3 COUNSELORS: Three counselors can receive 2-day training in New Ways for Families, then offer to provide Steps 1-3 to a family, then refer to a New Ways mediator and/or lawyers for their separation/divorce decision-making.
MEDIATION: A mediator can refer a case before, during or after mediation decision-making to one or two New Ways-trained counselors who would serve as Individual Coaches to the parties using the Collaborative Parent Workbook, which involves 3 sessions rather than 6 counseling sessions. Then, the parents would have the option to each meet with the child/ren with a New Ways-trained Child Specialist.
COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE:
A collaborative team can use New Ways for Families before, during or after collaborative decision-making. The Coach(es) on the team would work with the parties using the Collaborative Parent Workbook for 3 sessions (two separate and one joint). Then, each parent meets with the Child Specialist and child/ren for 3 sessions (two separate and one joint).
PARENTING COORDINATION:
A Parenting Coordinator can require the parents to attend New Ways for Families at any time in the case, following the court-based method for Steps 1-3. Then, the Parenting Coordinator would do Step 4, quizzing the parents on what they have learned, how they would handle a future parenting conflict, and reinforce their use of the skills in making decisions as new problems arise.
CLASS METHOD:
New Ways is not a parenting class itself. It focuses on more basic conflict resolution skills. However, New Ways class sessions can be inserted near the beginning of any parenting class for three hours. The New Ways class instructor would receive the 2-Day Training and apply the 3 sessions from the Collaborative Parent Workbook early in the parenting class, involving the parents in writing assignments and practice exercises as a group.
TRAINING:
There is a required initial 2-Day New Ways Training by a High Conflict Institute trainer. There is also a required annual 1-day update training. Counselors are required to receive this training in order to call themselves New Ways for Families Counselors and/or to be placed on the Counselors’ List for a family court jurisdiction and on the New Ways for Families website managed by High Conflict Institute. Lawyers and judges are strongly encouraged, but not required, to take this training to handle these cases. Lawyers who have taken the full training may be listed as New Ways for Families lawyers.
LICENSING and CERTIFICATES:
High Conflict Institute issues licenses to counseling agencies and counseling groups to provide New Ways for Families. We provide certificates to individual therapists who take our full training, who would like to provide services as a New Ways Counselor anywhere.
For more information contact us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or 619-221-9108
Visit our Books section to purchase the New Ways Professional Guidebook, Parent Workbooks, or the New Ways Introduction for Professionals 1-hour demonstration DVD.