STEP 1: GETTING STARTED 
You can agree to use New Ways, or a judge can order it while also making temporary parenting orders, support orders, and restraining orders. The court order includes a timeline for completion of the the Individual Counseling sessions, the Parent-Child Counseling sessions, and the appointment of the Parent-Child Counselor.

(1)  Select your Individual Parent Counselor: You should select your counselor within 7 days in order to get started right away. If you did not receive a list of counselors trained in New Ways from the court or your lawyer, please contact us for a list of counselors in your area. You must choose one of these counselors as your New Ways Individual Counselor. If you are already working with a counselor and would like to continue to use that counselor to complete the New Ways program, he or she must first complete the New Ways Basic Training via DVD.

(2)  Prepare Behavioral Declarations:  Before Individual Parent Counseling begins, you will each need to prepare a Behavioral Declaration (called an Affidavit in some states/provinces) and a Reply Behavioral Declaration. These declarations and the court order are the only paperwork provided to your counselors.

The Behavioral Declaration gives each parent an opportunity to list three concerns they have about the other parent's parenting behaviors and the three best strengths of the other parent. These declarations should be given to the counselor and the other parent before beginning your Individual Counseling sessions and should not be filed with the court.

Contact us for a copy of the Behavioral Declaration, the Reply Behavioral Declaration, and Instructions.

Contact us for a list of New Ways-trained lawyers who are available for representation or on a consultation basis to assist with the completion of the Behavioral Declaration and Reply Behavioral Declaration. You are not required to consult with a New Ways-trained lawyer; however, a list is provided for your convenience.

(3)  Purchase the Parent Workbook:  Next, you should purchase the Parent Workbook before attending your first Individual Counseling session. Both you and the other parent should have your own Parent Workbook. The Parent Workbook is available for $20 and may be purchased using the link below, or from your counselor.

Click on "Order Materials" tab on the top of this page to order the Parent Workbook from our corporate Website, High Conflict Institute.

STEP 2: INDIVIDUAL PARENT COUNSELING: 
This step involves 6 individual counseling sessions with your selected counselor, focused on learning new skills (new ways) for dealing with change in your family. These 6 weekly sessions occur concurrently for each parent with a separate, confidential counselor. During these sessions, you will work with your Individual Counselor to complete the exercises in the Parent Workbook and focus on strengthening three conflict-reducing skills: flexible thinking, managed emotions, moderate behaviors.

The Individual Counselor is confidential, meaning this counselor will not report to the court, lawyers, other other professionals involved with your case, and will not write a recommendation to the court on your behalf. However, the counselor will provide a Verification of Completion, which may be given to the court, indicating when you completed the paperwork and the Individual Counseling.

Coordination Letter:  After your first Individual Counseling session, you will need to obtain a blank Coordination Letter from your Individual Counselor. You should complete the blanks and send the letter to your Parent-Child Counselor.  This letter informs your Parent-Child Counselor that you have begun the Individual Counseling sessions and prepares the Parent-Child Counselor for your case. The court order should name your Parent-Child Counselor under paragraph 6 of the order.

STEP 3: PARENT-CHILD COUNSELING 
Only after both  parents have completed the 6 sessions of Individual Counseling can the parents move on to Step 3.  

This Step involves 3 sessions of Parent-Child Counseling for each parent with the child/ren, in which each parent teaches the child/ren new skills and learns about the child/ren’s concerns in the separation or divorce. Step 3 is designed to take 6 weeks, with you and the other parent sharing the same counselor, but attending sessions with your children separately by alternating weeks with the other parent. You will continue to use the Parent Workbook for these sessions.

Your Parent-Child Counselor is the counselor named in paragraph 6 of the court order. If the court did not appoint a Parent-Child Counselor, you and the other parent can jointly select a counselor from a list of New Ways-trained counselors. Please contact us for this list.

STEP 4: FAMILY (OR COURT) DECISION-MAKING:
This Step is focused on family decision-making immediately after Steps 2 and 3, with the parents developing a parenting schedule for the future with the help of professionals or the family court. After completing New Ways for Families™, you and other other parent should be able to make your own parenting agreements, with the assistance of a lawyer, private mediator, or court mediator, if necessary. 

We also have a list of lawyers, collaborative divorce professionals, and mediators trained in the New Ways method, who are available to assist with the negotiation of a parenting agreement. Please contact us for more information.

If you are unable to make your own parenting agreements, you must return to court for the judge to make these decisions. At this time, the judge will quiz you on what you have learned in your counseling sessions and how you would handle hypothetical parenting scenarios.  Then, the judge will make his or her final orders about your parenting plan.

Contact Us if you have questions about the program.