How New Ways for Families® Can Help Attorneys Manage Clients

How New Ways for Families® Can Help Attorneys Manage Clients

© 2012 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, CFLS 

 

With a High-conflict personality (HCP) client: 

·       Provides a structure for high-conflict personality clients (who need a lot of structure)

·       Reduces complaining phone calls to family lawyers by HCP clients

·       Provides standards and skills which family law attorney can remind client to use

 

With a non-HCP (reasonable) parent: 

New Ways provides methods for reasonable clients to cope with an HCP other parent, including: 

·       How to respond to hostile emails

·       How to focus on making proposals, rather than discussing the past or becoming extreme

·       How to manage their own emotions, rather than getting emotionally hooked by the other

·       How to communicate with their children while protecting them from the other parent

 

Domestic Violence Cases

·       At no time do the parents need to be in the same room or speak directly to each other

·       The Parent-Child Counselor is always present with the children and each parent

·       A parenting plan can be developed which involves no contact between parents

 

With alleged abusive parent: 

·       Parent focuses on own all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions and extreme behaviors

·       Counselor is not advocate for or against client; focuses on educating about consequences

·       Parent is encouraged to accept treatment rather than focus on fighting in court

·       Parent does exercises in workbook, focusing on future and benefit of learning new skills

 

With alleged victim: 

·       Parent focuses on lowering expectations that other parent will change

·       Counselor does not take position for or against client; focuses on educating client about abuse

·       Parent is encouraged to learn assertive skills, to focus on own choices and set boundaries

·       Parent does exercises in workbook, focusing on future and benefit of learning new skills

 

Child Alienation Cases 

With alleged alienating parent: 

·       Parent is expected to discuss positive qualities of other parent and positive history with child

·       Counselor does not take position for or against client; focuses on educating about consequences

·       Parent must teach child that all-or-nothing solutions are not appropriate

·       Parent must practice managing emotions, since alienating emotions are contagious

 

With alleged victim of alienation: 

·       Parent focuses on own behavior which may reinforce alienation, even if not causing it

·       Parent is encouraged to learn assertive skills, rather than expressing anger or giving up

·       Parent learns methods of managing relationship with child and other parent with flexibility